Read Part One here.
It’s really not possible to be a perfect example of love at all times. But you can train yourself to respond to situations in love. The Bible tells us that love isn’t touchy or rude. Sure, there may be moments when you start to feel annoyed or angry with your spouse, but do everything you can to guard your words and not act out on the emotions you may feel.
Love is a choice, and valuing your spouse and marriage is the best gift you can give your unborn child. Children need security, and hearing mommy and daddy fight or yell is very threatening to that security. If you allow strife into your marriage, it will become a habit that continues in front of your children in the future.
Eliminate some strife in your marriage by taking the pressure off of your husband to be a mind reader. Clue him in on how you’re feeling so he knows how to help. Before you start to get annoyed with his lack of understanding, explain how you feel, what you need, what would help you relax, or how he can pray for you. Chances are he doesn’t know that you need.
Many men show their love through actions. Give your husband specific, direct requests when you need help. Stop the hinting and be blunt. Instead of saying, “Wow, this baby is giving my back a workout,” and expecting him to pick up on the fact that you want a back rub, say, “Honey, would you rub my back?” Sure, it may read funny here, but our hints can be that mystifying to a man.
Here’s another tip: Don’t put your marriage or your sex life on hold just because you’re pregnant. Your husband will understand if you’re having a bad day, but don’t become so self-consumed that you forget about making him feel loved, too. Shutting him out right now will make him feel inadequate and alone. So take this time to not only prepare yourself for parenthood, but also to strengthen your marriage. No, this doesn’t mean you both need to spend two hours a day reading self-help books and creating fantasy dates. It does mean you need to spend time together, forgive one another, and pray together.
The Bible gives plenty of great advice about your emotions. Here’s one:
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” — Ephesians 4:26
If you do lose it with your spouse, apologize and make it right. Don’t’ allow bad feelings to fester until they become a disease that kills your love. Stay close as a couple, for you, and for your baby.
Request a copy of The Know-how Book on Birth for any woman you know who is thinking of getting pregnant, who is trying to get pregnant, or who is pregnant!
Excerpted and adapted from The Know-how Book on Birth.