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Valentine’s Day is almost here!

I have been married 36 years and I’m STILL head over heels about Valentine’s Day. Romantic dinners, flowers, cute little cards, and chocolates, chocolates, chocolates! What’s not to love?

But as much as I love Valentine’s Day, and make a point of celebrating it with my husband, Gary, I think it’s so important to realize that love is not really about cute little cards, special dinners, and yummy sweets! Relationships take a lot of work: compromise, communication, and selflessness. That’s why even the best marriages go through tough times.

I often say, “There are no perfect relationships … only relationships perfected by God’s grace!”

Whether you are dating, in a relationship, or married, you deserve a night of romance! A little romance goes a long way, but the true building blocks for a healthy and happy relationship are trust, respect, and honest communication.

Gary and I have always strived to keep our lines of communication open, but early on in our marriage, it was a struggle at times. I battled resentment, confusion, and guilt as I tried to balance my role as a wife and new mother, often blaming Gary instead of discussing it with him.

What got me through it was choosing to put my happiness in God’s hands; He always came through! Once I learned to put my identity, my faith, and my hopes in God, I was able to love and serve my husband with an open heart, without making Him responsible for making me feel happy.

I see so many people twist themselves into knots by trying to be completed by their partner. I want to tell you the one ingredient for a successful marriage is putting faith first. The only one who can truly give you peace is God!

Developing a faith foundation will carry you further and faster as a couple!

Often, people are in relationships or dating because they want the feeling of being adored, cared for, and supported. The problem with that is when you rely on others to make you feel loveable, you can’t be happy on your own, and you expect a partner to always do that for you.

No person can satisfy the void only God can fill!

My daughter, Amy, mastered this important lesson early on: It’s not fair to make your partner responsible for your every happiness. She learned to love Jesus and love herself before she got married. Now she has a solid marriage, two beautiful children, and one on the way! And she ministers to young women around the world and encourages them to go to God first to be made whole.

So many people get into relationships or date just to receive, and that leads to hard times. Relationships are about learning to give to your spouse and to serve them in love.

Jesus wants us to love each other just as He loves us.

Even if your relationship may seem far from a place of health today, I encourage you not to give up; there are no hopeless situations with God. I believe the health of any relationship will change when you start going to God first. God wants to bless your relationship and bring you into agreement with each other, so you can serve Him and His Kingdom.

This Valentine’s Day, in addition to doing something fun and romantic, make the choice to do something that will help you and your partner build a healthy, happy future.


Are you ready to get HAPPY? God has an incredible plan for your life, but it starts with discovering your joy in His presence. Embark on a journey toward a happier you today by preordering my new devotional, The Happy Life: Notes from God HERE!

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